A few weeks ago, I had a shitty three days, little bombs kept going off, four incidents in all. As the dust settled, I looked for connections between these seemingly disconnected events. One had to do with an ex, another with safety, and the other two with money. And, I was surprised to find that they had something in common: they all made me feel vulnerable, and compounded, it felt profound.

I realized that these feelings of vulnerability were tied to fear (and rightly so), but I wanted to unpack the meaning of it, and to be honest, to get past it so I could stop feeling uncomfortable and out of sorts. So I went back to the work of Dr. Brene Brown who studies vulnerability and shame. I'd watched her TED talk several times (so have 25 million others) and read her books.

It's common for people to associate vulnerability with weakness but Dr. Brown defines it as necessary and beautiful, as emotional risk, exposure, and uncertainty (all things I was feeling). And, she says it's the measurement of courage because in order to connect with others we have to really be seen and that requires being vulnerable.

If vulnerability is our way to connect with each other, as Dr. Brown says, I would add, it's the way to connect to self. Because after that crappy three days when I was trying to figure it all out, the raw bits that got exposed under my cloak that I didn't know were there were important to look at and understand. The gift was in the exposure, the other side of vulnerability, where uncomfortable feelings can be the opening. I had a choice to numb my feelings or pretty it up, but instead we sat down together. Me and my vulnerability. And guess what, after I did that, the fear went away. I still felt vulnerable, but it was okay, the weight had lifted.