The anxiety trips that can run our lives are thought to be softened or stopped by asking what's the worst that could happen. But what if we bypass the negative trip altogether and start with, What's the best that could happen? Instead of “what iffing” the negative, we flip it and “what if” the positive? As in, What if it goes really well? What if it's better than I can even imagine? What if good things are happening right now?
Here's why I bring it up. As the year comes to a close and we're upon new beginnings, I see the theme of letting go cropping up in magazines and online media. What has struck me is the focus on letting go of things like possessions, excess weight, and overly committed schedules without a hint of something deeper. But here's the thing, there's no letting go that's not actually about letting go of old stories and limiting beliefs at the core.
You've probably heard this before, and there's a ton of science now to back it up: biology is belief and thoughts are things. Beliefs are thoughts we keep thinking, and we don't have to keep spinning the same negative BS. Regardless of the current condition we're in, what we call “reality,” regardless of what's led up to it, we have a choice moment by moment, day after day, to choose where and how to focus our thoughts. Why bother? Because crappy thoughts, which are often self-critical and based in fear, feel, well....crappy. They keep us stuck and unwell. Plus, it's difficult and slow to try to change our condition without changing our thoughts and beliefs at the foundation.
So rather than fighting with your thoughts and staying focused on what you don't want, try flipping the script. Ask, What's the best that could happen?, and then answer it with the truly best damned things you can think of and work yourself up to excitement. Blow yourself away, name the impossible, what you've never believed could happen but you really, really want deep down (that maybe you've never even truly named or told anyone). It's the fastest, easiest way to feel better and get clear about what you want. At first it may seem odd, like exercising a new muscle, but with repetition, it becomes a more natural flow of thought. If the “terrible things are coming” script arises, your newly attuned awareness will notice, it will even sound foreign. It will start to sound strange when it comes out of someone else's mouth too. Shifting your thoughts and feelings to focus on what you want (rather than what you're afraid of or your current condition) will get easier and easier and worry will no longer run the show.
Just like we exercise our body to feel strong and flexible, so we exercise our minds to break through habitual thought patterns that keep us stuck and feeling crappy, effectively rewiring the brain. Below are two simple shifters:
What if the positive
Instead of letting the monkey mind take control and spin an old record called Terrible Things Are Going To Happen, simply shift focus and allow yourself to think about the infinite positive possibilities. Say to yourself or out loud a list of positive what ifs, one after the other, working your way from a smaller “what if” to the grandest beyond your imagination. See if you can break through the limits of what you have believed is possible and just have fun with it. (alternative: Wouldn't it be great if....)
Morning and Evening Gratitude
It's not uncommon for many of us to wake feeling anxious, feeling dread or even panic, thoughts racing. This is also how many of us go to sleep, essentially somewhere in the litany of terrible shit, we actually, miraculously sleep, some fitfully and others through the night, only to wake with more anxiety. This is a gratitude practice I've been doing a long time and it really changes the quality of my sleep and the tone of my day, and lots of others have said it works too. Basically begin and end with a few minutes of gratitude, what you're excited about or what you love. If you do other practices like prayer or meditation, you might want to end with the gratitude. Adapt this however feels good to you. When conscious thought begins in the morning, say I love my life. Then continue a few minutes, I'm so thankful for...or I love... At night, you can do the same, and add some things specific to that day, like I'm so thankful for my long walk in the sun today. I love spending time with the hawk that lives there. Like any practice, it takes repetition and coming back to it. (alternative: I'm excited about/to...)