It’s just one breath. This is what Sharon Salzberg says in her gentle, inviting voice, as instruction on meditation breathing. The breath in and the breath out are just one breath, not two separate actions, but parts of the same cycle. This is what was coming to me last week when I learned a friend had died.

As I thought about her, and her loved ones in grief, I had two moments arise. The first moment: when death is a tragedy, a sadness and a loss. Even a cruelty, an unfairness. The way it takes and leaves an absence. The way it does so without our control. And the second moment: when I remember what I believe about death—that there is no death, it just feels like it.

In the work that I do, and because it’s natural for me, I experience what’s considered non-ordinary reality, or the unseen world. So in the deepest part of my bones, I believe all that exists is in existence, nothing created nor destroyed, shifting consciousness or vibration or shape maybe, but always here and now.

Also, we humans feel, that’s the joy of being human. Our ability to experience passion, pleasure, and love is as much our human experience as pain. Pain, our own and the collective, asks to be witnessed. When we grieve and honor the dead, we connect to all those who went before us, we connect to ourselves and our own passing, and to the natural cycle that is life.

I sent Reiki to my friend, like a big hug of light and love, and I asked my guides to work with hers for a complete and peaceful passing. But first I sat on the couch, breathing. In, out. In, out. Feeling my breath like one loop. One cycle. This moment. This life. My birth and death. Yours too. It’s all one breath.